There's a reason why she took such darstic measures to leave you. Did you hit her? Were you abusive? Frankly, there's a reason why she left and you should deal with that. I think you know why and I'm glad she's safe. Sorry I do not have any answer for you. But being baby bomeor also, I admire your desire to reach for your dream. I hope it comes true for you. A workmate of mine daughter started in modeling and is now in big Hollywood movies and she came from a very small town in Midwest.